Short jokes
Who are cats going to vote for in November? Hillary Kitten.
I was gonna clean my room
before I got high.
what's black and red and is a liquid?
my scars!
"Time"? More like waiting.
When a school shooter walks to the intercom and plays Pumped Up Kicks.
Video games don't make people violent, lag does.
Society: :-)
I: :')
Society: you're doing it WRONG. It's :-) not :')
I: :'D
Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.
The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"
He grabs a noose.
What side of the sidewalk do crazy people walk on? The psych-o-path.
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
What do you call a short person that goes to school?
A Sammie.
What do bees do when they get married?
They go on a honeymoon.
Did you hear about the new German microwave? It has ten seats in it.
How much do the bones in your body weigh?
A skele-ton!
Why did 7 kill 11?
Because now 7 was even.
What’s the point in a cow going to the cinema? To be a-moo-sed!
You might find this joke a rib-tickler, but I sure do.
ABBaS.
My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"
The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."
What do you call a stick with a string on the end of it?
A fishing pole.