What's the difference between a chocolate cake and a dead baby?
About 5000 calories.
Short Jokes
What do bananas wear into battle?
Banana-rama!
What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?
Shampoo.
What did the angler say to his students at the end of his fishing class?
Catch you later!
You should never date a prospector. They're all just gold diggers.
America once was known as an Obama nation. Now we're known as an abomination.
What is the best part about eating cake? Your mom.
Mom: Go water the plants.
Me: But it’s raining outside.
Mom: Go grab the umbrella.
Me: What???
Stephen's not dead; his WiFi is slow.
On Xbox Live, an orphan can say "they f-ed your mom," so you can say, "at least mine didn't die from it."
Yesterday I made food using oil--olive oil.
(I love oil!)
Q: Two skeletons walk into a bar. What happens?
A: They fall.
(They walked into a BAR, as in a rod or whatnot.)
What do you call a baby kangaroo? Joey.
What do you call a 6 year old named Joey? Supper.
Did you hear that story "Three Lines in the Sand?" By dickadraggin'.
What is killing your friend called?
A homie-side.
What did the pencil say to the other pencil?
Your looking sharp!
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
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Why do basketball players hate gravity?
Because it's always bringing them down.
A girl asks her Asian boyfriend if he wants to eat her pussy. He asks her why she is taking off her clothes, instead of cooking her cat.
