Short jokes
Toilet paper cried across the road.
- Why is that flight waiting at 30,000 feet height?
- One tire became flat. They are changing it in the middle of the journey.
When I'm bored, I text a random number, "I hid the body... now what?"
What is small, red, and sitting in the corner?
A baby playing with a scalpel.
Poo.
Who's climbing the tree?..... Not Sarah.
Who is in hospital?.... Sarah.
What did the math book say to the other math book?
Wanna hear my problems?
What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?
"That is bull crap!"
What did the father bullet say to the baby bullet when he killed a bull by hitting it in the eye: "Bull's eye!"
What is the worst part of milking a cow?
The smell of the dairy air.
Punch an orphan in the face what they gonna do? Tell there parents
Why did the car fall asleep?
Because he was too tired.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent.
What is common in my AirPods and the Titanic?
They sync properly.
What do you call a chair that smokes weed?
A high chair.
Why did the two balls cross the road?
To get to the penis!
Sorry, too rude?
My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.
What do you call a ghost's fart?
A spirit bomb.
Your mumma so fat she takes up 4 seats of the sofa.
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6-year-olds?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.