MEd jokes

I gave up hope and I liked it!!

I take meds to feel fantastic! (I kissed a boy{but fed up lyrics})

What meds do snakes with ADHD take?

Adder-all.

What do you call a no "r"-med T-rex?

A T-ex.

I don't think my girlfriend likes it when I take my schizophrenia meds because she always goes away when I take them.

I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I’ll cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.

I cannot moderate myself at all. It's either I don't take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions, decisions...

Ads for meds be like: Chloroform, it's Chloroform, helps with itchy eyes. Side affects may include Acute Flaccid Myelitis (AFM), AIDS (HIV/AIDS), Alphaviruses, Alzheimer's Disease, Alzheimer's Diseases (Spanish), Arboviral Encephalitis, Arthritis, Babesiois, Cancer, Unintentional injuries, Chronic lower respiratory disease, Stroke and cerebrovascular diseases, Alzheimer's disease, Diabetes, Influenza and pneumonia.

Why did the Mexican get put on anxiety meds?

Because of Hispanic attacks.

What do you call a doctor in Panera Bread?

Panera Med.

P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.

What does ATM stand for?

Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.

😂🤣

Ralphie: They put drugs in our medication?

Me: The medication is the drugs.

Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."

Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"

As a doctor myself, that nurse was very slow, she tested my patience!

Why do pills work?

Because they are white.

Whoever stole my anti-depression medications, I hope you're happy!

They call me Mr. Distracted, truly a spastic. Can't talk to my folks cause they say I'm pro- problematic. Really fantastic. Can't focus unless I take meds then it's magic. My brain is like traffic, always fucking active. But never at the right time, pretty fucking tragic it happens.