Short jokes
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.
Joe Biden would’ve died in the Secret Service tackle. They would have been like, "Get down Mr. Presi-"
Donald Trump took the bullet better than Joe Biden took the stairs.
Do you think when the Secret Service heard the gunshot they were like, "Donald Duck"?
What's the difference between Derek Boogaard and Kurt Cobain? Nothing, they were both fucked in the brain when they died.
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.
My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.
What do you call a Lesbian at a Barbecue? A LGBBQ.
What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with an orangutan?
Monkeypox.
I really used to be into emo chicks. Now they just don't make the cut.
Is it OK to tell a Covid patient to stay positive?
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
......
Dogs say woof.
Cows say moo.
Idiots say, "The site will be less dead when school starts again!"
What's the difference between Rorochan and skydivers?
One does it for the cash, the other for the views.
What is the best way to kill a special ed kid?
Call them retarded.
What do you call Dr. Disrespect on top of a building?
Diddler on the Roof.
They're making a new Alien movie.
There are so many aliens you can't keep track.
How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?
Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.
My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.
She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.
Manly men go to strip clubs. JD Vance goes to IKEA.