Short jokes

Muslim religion is just pregnant women saying "Allahu Akbar" and exploding a bus.

If all women disappeared one day, it would be a pain in the ass.

Do you know when an African doesn't feel hungry?

When he is dead.

Only if Africans knew about condoms, so many mosquitoes wouldn't die of AIDS.

I look at my girlfriend’s ass like a homeless man looks at a trash can.

Like it’s my next meal.

I saw a homeless dude and gave him $1.

I saw a homeless woman and gave her $0.77.

A lion would never drive while drunk.

But a tiger wood.

What's the difference between Kobe Bryant and Jeffrey Epstein?

Only 2 13-year-olds went down on Kobe's helicopter.

Minimalism is a scam created by Big Small to sell more less.

Why should you always wear rubber?

So you don’t leave DNA evidence.

What [is] another name for an abortion?

Canceling your delivery.

Friend: Name one gay person off the top of your head.

Me: Me.

Why don't nurses like giving old people baths or showers?

Because they don't want their vegetables to get soggy.

Steps to win a Nerf war:

Step 1. Take out Nerf bullets.

Step 2. Load hollow points.

Step 3. Win!

Drake has too much meat. Donate to the people in need.

If y'all gotta crush on me, tell me now before my dad spends my Valentine's money on crack and alcohol.

What did Jessiey do?

Jump and make a explosionnnnnnnn, heyyyy gas!

Q: What's red during puberty?

A: The blood on my hands.

I'm tired of seeing Mal's joke the second I open up the site. It's not a bad joke. I'm just tired of it.

Why does nobody talk to the letter G?

Because it's always in the middle of awkward!