Short jokes
How is tightrope walking like getting a blowjob from someone ugly?
If you want to enjoy either, you absolutely can’t look down.
How does a woman scare their gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
No, I don't want to fight, so I shall kill you (so we won't fight)!
Help! I got my brother pregnant.
Where does bad light end up at?
In prism.
Gay gang members don't do drive-bys, they do fruit roll-ups.
James Last, the king of the LP bargain bin, died a Florida Man.
How did Donald Trump win Alabama twice?
By declaring that he has a crush on his daughter!
What's the difference between Donald Trump and Derek Vinyard?
A shaved head, a chest tattoo, and a moustache.
What did Donald Trump serve Justin Trudeau at the state dinner?
Poutine in traditional Russian dressing!
Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?
Because he successfully finished a race!
Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.
Your hairline is so long The Rock complimented it!
You're so bald that your hairline is receding faster than my bank account after a trip to Las Vegas.
You're so bald that Disney uses your head for movie scripts.
Your hairline is so long, people call it "The Natural Disaster!"
Your hairline is so ugly, it’s receding from your face to never see you.
Your hairline is so big, I couldn't find the area of it on Jupiter.
Yo hairline is so long, when you looked in a mirror you saw an entire endangered species.
How can a person from Alabama tell that someone is an illegal immigrant?
If they are dating someone that isn't related to them.