Short jokes

What is the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani primary school?

I don't know... I just fly the drone.

How to tell your kid he's adopted:

Son, I'm a virgin.

My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire

There's a girl I like in my school, but she's always on her phone. It seems that I can't get a SIGNAL from her.

What's red, takes my belt, and what I got from a weird children's house?

An orphan.

The orphanage said I couldn't go home.

Your dad is gone.

Why can’t the employee tell dirty laundry jokes?

Because they always come out clean.

Why did the skunk 🦨 sleep 💤 under a car?

Because he wanted to wake up oily.

Hey, can't wait to meet you! So join the crippling depression family!!

Where were the first orange trees 🍊🌳 planted?

In Orange County.

Maishah the poo turned into a fart, which is the big fart monster's best friend. This is her: 🐷🐷🐷🐷🤢🤢🤢💩💩💩💩👊🏻👊🏻👊🏻👊🏻👊🏻🐽🐽🐽

What did the poo say to the fart:

You blow me away!

Her last name starts with "A" and ends with "D," and the middle letters are "P-O-O."

Maishah, the poo comes from an old bathroom in a country starting with B.

What do penguins 🐧 eat for lunch?

Freeze burgers.

Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?

Because they don’t have pockets. I’m

Friend: I'm gonna go ask out my crush.

Me: *fake sneezes* Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.

Why was 10 scared of 9?

Because 9 8 7.

Where were the first French Fries 🍟 made?

In Greece.

What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?

A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."