Short jokes
How did Donald Trump win Alabama twice?
By declaring that he has a crush on his daughter!
What's the difference between Donald Trump and Derek Vinyard?
A shaved head, a chest tattoo, and a moustache.
What did Donald Trump serve Justin Trudeau at the state dinner?
Poutine in traditional Russian dressing!
Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?
Because he successfully finished a race!
Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.
Your hairline is so long The Rock complimented it!
You're so bald that your hairline is receding faster than my bank account after a trip to Las Vegas.
You're so bald that Disney uses your head for movie scripts.
Your hairline is so long, people call it "The Natural Disaster!"
Your hairline is so ugly, it’s receding from your face to never see you.
Your hairline is so big, I couldn't find the area of it on Jupiter.
Yo hairline is so long, when you looked in a mirror you saw an entire endangered species.
How can a person from Alabama tell that someone is an illegal immigrant?
If they are dating someone that isn't related to them.
What do an open champagne bottle and an orphan have in common? They both lost their pop.
Every time I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, so I unplug them.
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”
What do SpongeBob and Asians have in common?
They're both yellow and can't drive.
What record did Obama prove during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he'll still be in government housing.
Why did Amy Winehouse snort Splenda?
She thought it was Diet Coke.
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.