Short jokes
Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive!
My friend's dad went to jail. He's just surprised because he can finally find him!
I told my wife I needed a blood transfusion when I could not remember. She said, "Be positive too."
Bad, I am now a ghost writing this.
I just had sex...
I think I nailed it!
(Shit joke, I know.)
Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.
Why do disabled people not like comedians?
Because they do stand up.
Who is the most horny and fat ass god?
Kim Jung Un.
I asked my friend what happened to him?
His balance shifted.
How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.
"I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now."
Boys are like minis.
Girls are like big pots.
Minis always come first. Don't think about sex boys, be men.
Why can lesbians not drive cars?
They always strap the wrong thing on.
Jeffery Epstein killed Hitler.
This is not a joke. Stop online dating.
Dude, what if 9/11 happened because they wanted slavery back?
ISIS is the mark of the beast.
What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.
You know my first name, but don’t worry about it; you’ll only be screaming my first.
In Israel, they don't have Walmarts; they only have Targets.
What is the number one song played in Columbine High? Smells Like Teen Spirit.