Short jokes
Where do astronauts 👩🚀 keep their sandwiches 🥪?
In their launch box! 🚀📦😂
I did have a good night's sleep and a good day today, and tomorrow I have [planned] for a good night's sleep, and sleep with my...
I did a walk today, but it was good for Tyler. I was just trying to have a good time to sleep good. I got yyy night and a night.
What do girls have that boys don’t have? Bobbies.
What is the oldest animal in the world?
A zebra—it is black and white.
What’s the difference between a woman that doesn’t belong in the kitchen and Bigfoot?
Bigfoot is real.
What do you call a flying bus?
An Airbus.
What do you call a bus going backwards? A sub.
What is the difference between the snow ❄️ and sun 🌞? Snow is slippery, and the other kind 🧒 of weather is not slippery.
To whomever stole my anti-depression pills, I hope you're happy now.
What did the potato say when the sweet potato told it to hurry?
I yam.
It's all shits and giggles till somebody giggles and shits.
Why is the iPhone 7 not a smartphone?
It doesn't know jack.
What do you call male mermaids?
Mer-butlers!
I invited my friend with a vasectomy to a party.
Unfortunately, he couldn't come.
A girl and a dog were dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog.
Why is Sean's fashion so poor? He's retarded!
Teacher: What does a chicken give you?
Student: An egg!
Teacher: What does a fat cow give you?
Student: Homework!
What's the difference between my imaginary friend and God?
None.
They're both imaginary.
Chris started to tell me a joke about a nut, but he couldn't finish it.