Short jokes
Mufasa is proof that cats don't always land on their feet.
What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"
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Tyler only has a kid because they don't make condoms the size of Lego Men.
The waiter asked me, "How would you like your steak?"
I replied, "As soon as possible!"
See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.
What do you get when Cayden steals your sandwich? A knuckle sandwich.
What do sheep wear to the beach?
A baa-kini.
Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
I didn’t know you could yodel!
What goes after the butt?
The POST-erior.
Bharat
Palabhai
Majama.
What's up with airline food?
What did the Army soldier say after he got his legs fixed?
Afgan-I-Stand.
What does a car have when it's very itchy?
A road rash.
Jesus was a carpenter who got nailed to a piece of wood.
What’s the difference between football and rape?
Women don’t like football.
What’s loud, red and goes at 200mph?
Paul Walker’s Porsche.
What do you call an Afghan in the bath? A bath bomb.
What do you get when you cross a clergyman and a politician?
A panhandler.