Clergyman jokes

What do you get when you cross a clergyman and a politician?

A panhandler.

Boy goes to Confession.

Boy: "What are you doing, father?"

Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."

Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"

Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."

When the priest said, "Be gone from this boy, demon!" the demon replied, "And you get out of the boy!"

What’s a reverse exorcism?

It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.

How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.

If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?

The Royal Commission.

Alternatively, Tony Abbott.

Why are priests called father? Because it's too suspicious to call them daddy.

What do a politician and a minister have in common?

Both of them will tell you anything to get money from you.

A preacher was selling a horse. A cowboy decided to buy the horse. The preacher told the cowboy to make the horse go, to say "Thank God" and to stop the horse, to say "Hallelujah". The cowboy then rode off into the sunset until he came upon a cliff, searching his memory he yelled "Hallelujah" and the horse stopped just before going off the cliff. Then the cowboy said "Thank God".

How do you keep a homophobic heterosexual man that is a minister and a Christian nationalist with blond hair in suspense?

Wait until Christmas to take away his church's tax-exempt status or he will call the ACLU.