Short jokes
What do you call a pillow that has been on the bed for 20 years in jail?
A criminal! 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃
Where's the best place to spawn camp at the hospital?
The maternity ward.
Fail and fall mean the same thing when it’s downstairs.
I have the best life coach ever, because he taught me to not care. He did it so well that he died last week, and I still don’t care.
What operating system do Indian scammers use?
"Window licker XP."
Your mom's like a candy machine; she pops out for anybody.
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfi.
Um... (no idea what joke I should tell).
Dark humor and women are very similar...
Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.
My woman told me that she wants to have sex with me, and I said, "Let's go at it." She said, "Shut up and kiss me on all my pillows."
What kind of pillow makes sounds?
I did a bungee jump for charity recently. It was called "spastics on elastics."
Why did lil Timmy drop his lollies?
He was hit by a train.
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What's the difference between my basement and my garage?
One has a pile of babies' bodies; the other has their heads.
Y’all can actually see them at all, my toe.
We were so poor that every time I passed by a butcher shop, I thought there had been a horrible accident.
Why did the astronauts take a box of cereal and a cow with them? In case they bypassed the Milky Way!
Bully: You're so short you hand-glide on a chip.
Short person: Well, at least I don’t look like a giraffe that just came out of an oven!
Dad: What do you call a crazy creeper?
Mom: Shit, I don't know...
Kid: Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Dad: That's my boy's!!!