Short jokes
My ex died today.
I also lost my job as a butcher.
What do you call one baby in ten trashcans?
Chopped Junior!
"Most Deadly Sport"
Playing chicken with a train!
These ain't jokes. These are just sad truths.
Why do goalkeepers have so much money in the bank?
Because they are really good at saving.
What do you call a lost Indian woman? Ms. Singh.
Q. What is the most endangered creature in India?
A. The baby girl.
Q: What’s a koala's face song? A: Never gonna give you up BECAUSE it hangs on the tree and the person is the tree?
"Nepal is a good place because it has been a great time for me."
Anybody home? :)
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When you're in the war and you die and say to God, "Where is the gulag?"
You: OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE ALL THE KRAP THEY HAVE BEEN THROUGH!
The other person: Who?
You aka answer: Your Butt cheeks.
Q: Why can orphans swim?
A: They have or-fins.
What’s the difference between Jesus and Maddie McCann?
One had the last supper.
Why do orphans like going to church?
Because they actually get to say "father" for once.
Me: Mom, would you get mad at me for something I didn't do?
Mom: No.
Me: Ok, good. I didn't do my homework.
"Killed two birds with one stone"? Pfft, I once killed two people with one bullet.
What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?
"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?
Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.