Short jokes
On the plus side, I finally hear voices talking to me... just wish they were outside my head.
Words that have "ho" in them:
Thot
Whore
Asshole
Horrible
Horena (my ex gf)
What is a donkey called when it has a hole on itself?
An ASSHole.
Why did the girl rage badly when she got an D- on her essay?
Because the teacher said she missed all her periods.
What is a rat's favorite dessert?
A chocolate mousse cake.
What do depressed people use for emotions online?
They use EMOjis.
"Watch out, there's an iceberg!"
Other person: "We will be fine."
10 minutes later, drowns, says, "We will be fine."
Which country makes me crack the fuck up?
LAUGHghanistan.
What is a Finnish Spitz's favorite comedian?
Redd Foxx.
Kid: Dad, what's an orphan?
Dad:
There is a feminist group in my town.
It is called Gal-Qaeda.
(I actually got this from The Simpsons, so credit to the show.)
How did the Iron and Gold start dating?
They met on TINder.
"Why did my name start with an L? Because it is lips, lol."
What does a tornado need when it has multiple sclerosis?
A hurri-CANE.
What do you call the worst joke ever?
Well, according to my mom, I am.
Afghanistan.
Men wake up with a boner.
Women wake up yawning.
Coincidence?
Tired kid with asthma: "It's hard to breathe."
Gym Teacher: "That's alright."
Other Kid: "Hush!"
How to get your woman to come upstairs? Say you are naked.
What do you call an Islamic LGBT member? A Gaylism.