"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Bagel."
"Bagel who?"
"Toast, it's me, your arch-nemesis, Bagel, here to make up! Bye!"
Short Jokes
They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.
I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck. I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born.
I am going to scream, this is a cry for help.
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
"This isn't ketchup."
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
This isn't ketchup.
What do sperm say while just in?
"We need to go deeper."
What did I say to you? You suckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk, boiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
Person: Hey, do you know what's the best thing in life?
...
You do realize that I said nothing, right?
Me: Exactly :)
Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?
Person: Yea, why?
Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)
Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.
Mum: And that is?
*Kid walks out.*
*Kid comes back in with milk.*
Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!
Belief in Egyptian gods is just Ra-ng (wrong). 😁
What does a girl get after having sex with Batman?
Defective rabies.
Mom: They say our kid neighbor has blue blood.
Son: Really?
Also 2 hours later:
Son: Mom, the kid doesn't have blue blood.
Mom: Son, I-
Best chick ever.
Call me at 6969696969.
Warning! Warning! Warning! Warning!
"What? Where?"
God promised John that if he came in 1st, he would get an eternal life, but instead he came in 5th and got a kettle!
What's an emo's favorite Pink Floyd album?
The Final Cut.
What does a bullied kid say during a game of Kahoot?
"I'd like to Kahoot up this school."
What do you call a drunk, depressed man that skydives?
Splattered.
