Short jokes
On a scale of 8 to 10, how good do I look?
How did the other 18 COVIDs go unnoticed?
I can't wait to have 2020 in my hindsight.
9 months before I was born,
I went to a party with my dad and left with my mom.
When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.
My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.
I told him to stop being so clothes-minded.
I used to know a guy from a nudist colony.
Man, I tell you, nothing looked good on him!
I think the local nudist campground just went out of business.
The sign on their gate says:
"Clothed Until Further Notice."
Note to self.
When baking for the holidays, don't Google "creampies".
Google "cream pie recipes".
Deja-poo.
The sense or feeling you have dealt with this crap in the past.
Whoever put an "s" in the word "lisp" was a jackass!
What is an orphan's favorite event? Homecoming.
How do you kill time?
Easy! Taking alarm clock and an assault rifle.
Yo, sis, come here.
Sis: What?
Me: Oh, sorry, you doing school?
Sis: Yup.
Me: Can I go?
Sis: No way, you're going to hug me.
Me: I love you.
Rocks rock and crack!
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
What does the beet DJ say when he's partying?
"Dance to the beet, y'all!"
What do you call a fish with no parents?
An orfin.
Why is an orphan's favorite game Monopoly?
Because they can actually buy a house.
People say that they miss xxxtentacion, like the bullet didn’t.