Short jokes
How do you punish a blind kid?
Rearrange the furniture.
A gay wizard went to a bar and disappeared with a poof!
What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?
A jammy cunt.
Unlike the Americans, Hitler knew when to kill himself.
What do you call a bunch of wheelchairs on top of one another?
A vegetable rack.
Me: Knock, knock. You: Who's there? Me: Music. You: Music who? Answer: A guitar is a violin without a stick.
Why did the number 10 make friends with 0? Because you have $100 dollars.
Your head so big you can wash a big TV on it!
If this is offensive to anyone, I'm sorry! Hey, wanna see something funny? Go look in your mirror!
I recently was told by my therapist to stop with the suicide jokes. So I replied with "Don't worry, it will all end soon."
You have more chins than a Hong Kong telephone book!
Bro, your toenails are bigger than your IQ.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fishes.
Fishes who?
Fishes the police, come out with your hands up!
More like your anus.
Have you ever heard of the stupid coyote? He got stuck in a trap, chewed off three of his legs, and was still stuck!
When is it bedtime in the Jacksons' house?
When the big hand 🖐 meets the little 🤚.
What do frogs wear for shoes? Open toad.
What does your mom say to you? "Love you, moody."
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he was part of the Lazy Bones team!
What is the strongest weapon in India?
The red button (this is a fact).
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.