Short jokes
Did you just fart a minute ago in the dumpster? I can tell you probably had a mud burrito for breakfast.
I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.
What is Bugs Bunny's favorite dessert?
Chocolate carrots balls.
What is the difference between chocolate and sex?
I would rather eat the chocolate first and then make love.
My chocolate babe is calling my name, and now I'm about to get my chocolate freak on.
Why can't I have any chocolate ice cream for dessert? Because I made it disappear up your ass for good.
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.
"Little John, she is fat." How? He said, "Like a pig."
You know how to draw a horse? If not, look in a mirror and draw what you see.
Desmend: FLY
Draco: FLY
Me: DIE
A woman walked up to me and asked me for a joke. I stood there with a straight face knowing women can't be funny.
Doctor: Hands husband his baby.
Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.
Husband: Then give me the one she made.
Mike Oxlong.
Guys, if y'all don't stop making hatred stuff, I'm contacting admin.
Why did the Mexican take the tamale to the hospital?
Tamlito.
My friend has a shovel made of gold. I guess you could call him a gold digger.
Me: MOM, I'm tired.
Mom: Take a nap.
Me: No, I can't sleep if Dad isn't here.
Mom: *hangs picture of dad on her room wall* Well, now you can.
What do you call an ant with so much power?
A ter-mite.
Mom: Hey hun, need some money for lunch at school?
Son: No, I got 1k already.
Mom: Wait, what, how?
Son: Mom's wallet is magic.