Short jokes
What's the difference between a magician and a chorus line?
The magician has a cunning array of stunts!
What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A rooster clucks defiance!
It's snot fair!
Why don't the giraffes go to elementary school? Because they are already in high school.
Why did two fours skip lunch? They already ate.
Why did the girl study in the tree? She wanted a higher education.
Why did the music teacher need a ladder to reach the really high notes?
What did the pen say to the pencil? You have a point.
Why was the math book so sad? Because it was filled with problems.
What does an orphan do on school parents' day? Nothing.
Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled!
Why did the cucumber go to the doctor? Because he wasn't peeling well!
Who is the coolest vegetable?
Rad-ish, of course!
What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?
Coach.
I saw this girl with blue hair and slapped her wrist and said, “NICE CUT G!”
Why can’t orphans win trophies?
Because they can’t take them home.
Why can’t orphans win trophies?
Because they can’t take them home.
To people who say that depression hits hard...
The car begs to disagree.
Depression hits harder than my dad.
Why did Lucas die?
'Cause he was old, Lucas.