Short jokes
Q: Why can orphans swim?
A: They have or-fins.
What’s the difference between Jesus and Maddie McCann?
One had the last supper.
Why do orphans like going to church?
Because they actually get to say "father" for once.
Me: Mom, would you get mad at me for something I didn't do?
Mom: No.
Me: Ok, good. I didn't do my homework.
"Killed two birds with one stone"? Pfft, I once killed two people with one bullet.
What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?
"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?
Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
Making fun of someone you're angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car <3
I was using my computer one time and I pressed Ctrl-Alt-Delete, and Stephen Hawking went into a deep sleep.
Your mom is so fat, she can't make it through the door.
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
I hate my wife.
*cue laugh*
My teacher said he is gonna call my dad, I can't wait to meet him! 🥰🥰🥰
Why is the Tower of Pisa tilted?
Because it had more reflects than the Twin Towers.
What did Michael Jackson say?
Nothing, he's dead.
Yo mama's so fat that she used a telephone pole as a tampon.
Philza: PUT THE ORPHAN DOWN TECHNOBLADE- NO DON-
Technoblade: R.I.P orphan
What’s a gay person’s favorite book?
The dictionary.
Me: If a skinny person goes skinny dipping, then what do fat people do?
My friend: Chunky dunks.