Short jokes
Aiden's the best, in any contest, and no matter what, he'll kick your butt!
Warning: if you don't like gummy bears, DO NOT READ.
Q: What do you call a Mexican gummy bear?
A: Delici-Oso
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!
What's the difference between a Ranga and a Brick?
A Brick can get laid.
Why couldn't an orphan use a fighter jet?
Because he couldn't use the homing missiles.
Are you a bullet? Because you go straight through my head.
Brother: Your nuts!
Sister: What do you mean? You're the one that has the nuts!
Why do G-Unit and C-Unit stand for? Gorilla unit and chimpanzee unit.
Where do gorillas get all the "pussy" from? The strip club, which is called "Poker Kong Night."
Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"
Shooter: "Oops."
What do you say when the toilet is clogged?
Oh shit!
Kid: Hi Mum!
Mum: Hi, Loser!
Kid: Why?
Mum: You loser, why? Hahaha!
Kid: Waaaaaaa!
I know this is not funny, but who cares?
Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he doesn't know if he is black or white.
Warning: If you're planning to look here for jokes about the FOOD nuts, don't bother. It's filled with penis jokes.
My teacher: Time can't count.
Me: Every second counts.
My teacher: Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhh!
When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"
Why should old women never eat seafood?
'Cause then she'll start acting crabby.
I told Hellen Keller it was a hair dryer, little did she know it was a Glock.
Yo hairline be lookin' like Elmo's toe fungus.
Why is it wrong to put a beef or turkey patty in a burger?
'Cause it's a ham-burger, isn't it?