Short jokes
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn. It's impeccable.
One knight, a king, and a queen went fishing. They each caught one fish, so how did three fish end up in the bucket?
One "knight"!!!
2, 4, 6, 8, you're staying up too late.
2, 4, 6, 8, all I do is master bait.
What do Greek people never want to have on their food? Grease.
He couldn’t stand it anymore with his sister because he is in a wheelchair.
What couldn’t the boy in the wheelchair do when he saw a bully? He couldn’t stand up for himself.
Why does a robot malfunction when they get sad?
Because they have a break down.
John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater."
Fiancee: "Break a leg!"
Roses are red, violets are blue, I tell you, you look pretty, but all you do is look like a poo.
Yo people!
Little Johnny's actually dead!
BRAKING NEWS!
Little Johnny's dead!
Why did the teacher get the death penalty? Because she gave an orphan homework. That's on period. #darkhumor
What’s a foot on one end, a foot on the other end, and a foot in the middle?
A meter stick.
Where would an astronaut park his spaceship? A parking meteor.
Why did the fastest cat get kicked out of school?
He was a cheetah.
So there was this girl and her horse would not stop following her, so she said, "Stop horsing around!"
Get it? "Horse-ing."
How do you rape a girl?
By doing a tornado kick to your head since you stupid kids like rape jokes!
If you read this, you lost your v card.
What do orphans and dinosaurs have in common?
Their parents are extinct.
I would make a joke about Kobe, but I don't think it would fly very well.