He never has a bad day because he always wakes up on both sides of the bed.
Short Jokes
Beach whales.
Person A: What do you call the dangly bit of an octopus?
Person B: Tentacles?
Person A: Ok *tickles person B ten times*
Wife: Honey! Do you like tea?
Husband: No, I like after "T"!
It means: the letter "U": you!
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.
I got my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He came back a week later and said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.
If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?
Worms and rotten fruit.
If I could make someone tell me their last words, they'd say, "Make me."
Why do people watch hentai?
Because they are as fake as pornstars are.
What is never ordered in an orphanage?
A family sized pizza!
Cancer, it's just funny, hahaha.
The more downvotes it has, the better the joke.
Most people age up on their birthdays,
Stephen levels up.
September 11, bring your plane to work day.
Why do orphans hate cricket?
Because they can't get a "homerun."
What's a paedophile's favorite footwear?
White Vans.
I was walking home, then I saw a "Wait" sign. A man came and took me. I'm still waiting for him to ask for a lesson.
I bullied a handicap today.
What is he gonna do? Stand up for himself?
Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the recipe?
Wife: In a detective novel.
What do you call a 3 humped camel?
Answer: a prostitute from New York. 😂😭💀
