Short jokes
Why do planets circle the sun?
'Cause they like the game of ring-around-the-rosy.
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.
What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?
"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"
Get it?
What did the dog say when he got its tail caught in the door?
"It won't be long now..."
What did the window say to the door?
"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"
Get it?
Q: I often think I'm ugly, but then I think of my sister and get over it.
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.
What do you call a group of black people?
A hoodie.
Your forehead is so long, even Einstein didn’t know how to cross it.
Lil’ Johnny be dead, you fools!
So, I text my girlfriend and told her I wanted to get inside her. Can you believe she replied: "Not again brother, I'm only 8."
Trump can get banned. The cops can tack him to jail, and Trump go go go go bye bye for good. Trump is meing.
Why was sis afraid of seven?
Cuz 7 ate 9.
What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?
Cassie.
Get it?
Why did the orphan commit suicide?
So he could find home.
How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toed.
My brother's addicted to buying ladders; he loves to get high.
Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
I'm in school lol.
What is Saturn's favorite movie?
Lord of the Rings.