Short jokes
Why was the sea sad? Because it was blue.
Why does it take so long for the pirates to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years on C! Pirate: A, B, sea?
A... B... Sea?
Why did the orphan say, "Help?" He needed his brother.
Why didn't the pirate write a letter to his mom?
Are you kidding me?!?
How do you save your wife from drowning?
Take your foot off her neck.
What type of place would Papyrus hang out at?
The SPA-ghetti!
*insert ba dum tss here*
There is someone in my class named Henry Rocket Rueben, and he always says he rockets into my mom.
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
You're so fat your ass has 2 zip codes.
I got kicked out of the hospital because I told all the COVID-19 patients to stay positive.
What did one cheek say to the other cheek?
"It is a squash in here!"
Why did the chicken cross the road to get away from this conversation?
What did the bird say to the other bird?
Nothing, because birds can't talk.
Why does my girlfriend have a dick? Oh wait, I'm gay.
I have a girlfriend with a big dick.
A man said his bars are lit. I said no, because mine are fire.
Boy: "Mister, can I get candy?"
Mister: No, you shit head.
Boy: Why? :(
Mister: Because I'm not your dad.
If your hot dog taste like a piece of wood, who you gonna call?
GHOST MUSTERD
If your hot dog tastes like a piece of wood, who are you going to call?
"Ghost Musterd."