Doctor: I diagnose you with obesity.
Patient: It runs in the family.
Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.
Short Jokes
----> [] get in the door.
Me: *in a family meeting*
Mom: Ok guys...
Me in my mind: BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA
I will give you all the fine chicks you want. Just dial this number: 313-974- tap that ass from Hooters strip club.
Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chili in the bowl.
Did you just fart a minute ago in the dumpster? I can tell you probably had a mud burrito for breakfast.
I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.
What is Bugs Bunny's favorite dessert?
Chocolate carrots balls.
What is the difference between chocolate and sex?
I would rather eat the chocolate first and then make love.
My chocolate babe is calling my name, and now I'm about to get my chocolate freak on.
Why can't I have any chocolate ice cream for dessert? Because I made it disappear up your ass for good.
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.
"Little John, she is fat." How? He said, "Like a pig."
You know how to draw a horse? If not, look in a mirror and draw what you see.
Desmend: FLY
Draco: FLY
Me: DIE
A woman walked up to me and asked me for a joke. I stood there with a straight face knowing women can't be funny.
Doctor: Hands husband his baby.
Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.
Husband: Then give me the one she made.
Mike Oxlong.
Guys, if y'all don't stop making hatred stuff, I'm contacting admin.
