Short jokes
Eschew obfuscation.
A man walks into a bar with a 44. Magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The bartender answers, "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets."
"Prince, I'm ready to chat when you are. I'm in bed, so yeah, let's chat! Love you!"
"I was walking in the yard yesterday and a bug stepped on me. Why, you ask? Because the bug didn't know I was there."
Article 1: the Titanic is practically unsinkable.
Article 4: the Titanic sank.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
'Cause mommy never gave them some.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
What are two things you could call a fart?
"Gas from the ass" or "Odor from the motor!"
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?
They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
When you still there?
"It never gets old."
"Just like a sick kid!"
Why didn't the orphan go home?
Because he didn't have a home.
What's a man's favorite thing that starts with "m" and ends with "arriage?"
Miscarriage.
Bye!
When is the last time you picked up the phone?
I heard that your forehead is so big that you could build a neighborhood on it.
Yo mama so fat she can't walk for five seconds without sweating, causing a tsunami!
The depressed kid went to give a tree a high five...
...but it left him hanging.
What did the lion say to the lion tamer? Nothing, because when the lion tamer whipped the lion, the lion killed him.
What do you call an overly clingy child?
A tumor.