Why do depressed people want to kill themselves?
To be loved on the news show for 10 minutes.
Short Jokes
Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?
You have to look down to see him.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
People named Aaron are annoying. Why have two A’s when you can have none? (Ron)
I told my deaf mom to be nice to the neighbors. She didn't listen...
I would tell jokes about Kobe, but they would just crash and burn.
Why did the dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot dog!
This is a classic.
Why did the Dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot Dog!
What did Queen Lettuce say to her greens?
Lettuce eat Brussels!
123 bipity bopity 321. Women are property.
What type of alphabet does an elf learn?
The elf-abet.
So a girl says, "You're so ugly to me," and she says, "I’m the prettiest girl." I say, "Yeah, a pretty girl for an ogre 👹!"
What do you do when you get locked outside your house? You talk to the lock, because communication is key.
what kind of shoes are made of banana peels? slippers.
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
What do planets use to download music?
Nep-tunes.
Why does it get hot after a baseball game?
'Cause all the fans have left.
Son: Hey, Dad, I'm cold. Can you give me a lift from work?
Dad: Hi Cold, nice to meet you. Sorry, I don't pick up strangers.
Son: I hate you!
My dad left for milk 4 hours ago, anyone know where he is?
What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
