Short jokes
Today was the worst day ever. My ex got hit by a truck... On the plus side, my truck doesn't even have a dent.
Hey Alya and JK Master, how are you guys doing? No one being an ass to you guys today, right? If so, I'll beat them up :)
If someone calls you, just say:
"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"
What do you get when you cross a German and a Mexican? A “BeanerSchnitzel”!
Have you seen Dolly Parton's new shoes? Neither has she!
Did you hear about the new Chinese food?
It is called: “Wuhan Fried Bats”!
Enough of the sex jokes! I mean, come on, they are not even funny!
The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
What do you call an orphan at a construction site?
Child labor.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It gets finished pretty quickly if you're a fat guy.
What do you call the penises of gay men that are in wheelchairs?
Meals on wheels 😋😍🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭
What can a physically handicapped ♿ gay man 👬 do on his own very well 👏 without being taught how to do?
Perform fellatio on gay men.
Imagine when you are about to cry at the funeral, then your friend's phone rings.
Then he says, "I'll call you back, I'm still at the die."
Why did the heterosexual man put a mask on his cock to protect himself from COVID? Silly boy.
I bought drugs today.
Why did the dumb blonde pee inside the condom?
Because the doctor told the dumb blonde that the dumb blonde was going to get a urine test!
Why did two dumb blondes put condoms on the cow's udders because they wanted the cow to practice safe sex?
My dad has the heart of a soldier, and a restraining order from the soldier's family.
Why did the dumb blonde take a shower outside of the house while it was raining?
Because the dumb blonde did not pay the water bill!
I always say I'm single, which annoys my wife.