Short jokes
What were my great grandpa's last words?
"SHIT MG42!!!"
Read my name. 👍🇮🇪
Hi, I'm new here and I'm 11. I'm just bored and want a girlfriend.
Does anyone have Snapchat or Twitter? I can show you what I look like ;)
Why did the orphan go to the woods? To take a *what*?
Why are short people sad?
Don't judge though, it's crap but...
Because they couldn't reach happiness.
Go drop-kick an orphan. No one will know, not like his parents would know.
I bet when your mom first saw you, she said, "Oh my god, this ain't my child. My child would look amazing."
Did you know Cobain had dandruff? Yep. They found his head and shoulders all over the back of his couch.
Humans and sharks have something in common: the great ones are always white.
Book on Michael Jackson: Issued black; returned white.
Why did the mailman die?
Because everyone dies.
What's the difference between my dad and Nemo?
I don't know. I still haven't found them.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Acne doesn't come on a 5-year-old's face.
You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.
Did you know there was a record for the quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds.
What did the fork say to the cake when he said, "I hope you get eaten?"
Fork off!
I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.
Your hairline's so far back even Rosa Parks refused to sit there.
Why are some girls scared easily?
They don't have balls.
Welcome to Jimmy's orphanage and pizza shop, where today's loss is a sauce. How may I help you?