Short jokes
East Richmond has a train station at East Richmond, but Richmond is better, why?
Where is Australia?
Where is Colorado?
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoes?
White vans.
Q: What do you get from a two-legged cow? A: Lean beef.
I hate wearing a mask in public.
I'm a lady, so I'm a man.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang, because it came back unlike their parents.
What do you call it when Neil Armstrong started cuming in space?
The Milky Way.
Why can't you go home tonight? Because you haven't got a home, it's moved.
(Non-edgy joke.)
Green beans, potato salad with the one that was in the fridge for me.
You see, my son is very into astronomy.
Son: How do stars die?
Dad: Usually overdose, son.
I'm such an asshole to my son, my wife divorced me.
Why can't an orphan play basketball?
Because no one will be cheering them on.
What restaurant does Africa own? M.T. Bellies.
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common? Once they're gone they never come back.
I don't trust anything that bleeds for more than 5 days and is still alive.
When the school shooter is right outside the classroom window, and the autistic kid starts trying to say hello to him.
Roses are red, Your mum's a queer, Fucking hell, Can’t get out of first gear!
Friend: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Friend: Your life.
Me: Ahhh, I wish!
*jumps off building*