Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?
They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
When you still there?
What's a man's favorite thing that starts with "m" and ends with "arriage?"
Miscarriage.
What do you call an overly clingy child?
A tumor.
When the school shooter kills five people, and the autistic kid yells, "Heroes never die!"
Fun fact! You can hold your breath till the rest of your life.