Short jokes
Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?
Why don't cows make good policemen?
Because they refuse to go on steak-outs!
"You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!"
"Wait! I can explain everything!"
Boy/girl: I love you.
Me: I love me too! But sorry, my mom said I can't date trash. Go back to the trashcan.
The boy/girl: I- *Is depressed*
What happened when the cheetah took too many baths?
He became spotless!!!
How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have nobody to call "daddy."
Build your ex a fire, and they're warm for a day.
Set your ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence.
What’s the difference between a boomerang and an orphan's parents?
One of the two actually came back.😂
What’s the bravest thing a man can do?
Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.
Two hotdogs are walking across the street. One is walking slow. What does the 2nd one say?
"Ketchup!"
Bro, your humor is so bad I bet you would laugh at this.
A B 💿.
Kobe: Stop doing dark humor!
Me: Why? They don't land well together?
What's 9/11 survivors' least favorite NFL team?
New York Jets.
What actor does an orphan hate?
Vin Diesel.
Help me...
Why did the orphan drop the soap in prison? So he can have a prison daddy.
What do you call someone who is in an airplane crash who was a 2006 Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes?
Josef Vasicek.
What did Josef Vasicek think before the plane hit the ground?
"Oh shit, is my name still on the Stanley Cup?"
Why was Josef Vasicek a Stanley Cup champion in 2006?
Because you know who was jealous and he went down in 2020.