Good Morning! Have a Great Day!
#Ijustwokeup
Short Jokes
What's the most difficult thing about being a pediatric surgeon?
Keeping the scalpel steady while masturbating.
One time I fucked this chick so hard, she almost came back to life.
What’s got 4 wheels, does a barrel roll, and goes from green to red in seconds?
Kermit in a car crash.
What did Hitler say to Stan after he died?
I did nazi that coming!
What is a redneck virgin?
A seven-year-old that can run faster than her brothers.
Why did Michael Jackson get away with it? Because he's a smooth criminal.
How did the priest know the nun was on her period? He tasted blood on the altar boy's cock.
Why do women have no need for umbrellas? Because it doesn't rain in the kitchen.
Why couldn’t the kid play baseball? Because he couldn’t find home.
Any game: "Are you a boy or a girl?"
Non-binary people: *cries*
B b b b bird bird bird, the bird banged your mom!
Man 1: Knock knock.
Man 2: Who's there?
Man 1: Ice.
Man 2: Ice who?
Man 1: I crushed your head.
Joke: CookVR
What do you call ball drama?
There is one rapist among us.
Who's Joe?
Joe rapes.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer:
The man said, "He's going to rape the people on the side of the road."
I am Cummer.
So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back...
Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
