Short jokes

Why do orphans wanna be a criminal?

So that they can be wanted.

I wasn't close to my dad when he died.

Which was good, he died to a landmine.

I made this game called Ligma. Say it, "Ligma."

Lick my balls.

Mommy sits on my potty and sings a song about poop.

Mommy is a YouTuber, she can never spend time with me.

Mommy kisses my butt.

Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.

How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.

You know orphans are kinda like a house with no people in it.

Because it’s empty inside.

The closest thing in a depressed person's life is a knife and his/her throat.

What was the worse purchase America ever made?

Spending billions on two rice cookers in 1945.

What's an orphan's favorite store?

Home Depot.

I was walking and I saw a girl crying, and she told me to take her dollhouse and I asked why. She said because I don't have one.

What do you call a white man sandwiched between two black men in a blue sleeping bag?

An Oreo.

I met an orphan with a dog yesterday. I chose the dog.

Did y'all ever hear about the great thunder crash of September 11th?

What's the food orphans can't eat?

Family-sized ice cream.

Uh, six teachers are annoying. Thank God I am not getting picked on at school or on this website.

Knock knock.

Me, a person: Who's there?

A: Deez nuts!

What do Paul Walker and I have in common? Neither of us have seen Fast and the Furious 7.