Short jokes
How do you piss off a midget?
Give them a yo-yo and tell them to play with it.
What do you call two homeless people throwing rocks at each other?
A pillow fight.
What does a blowjob and a bonus check have in common?
Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.
I got you the candy. Haha! You idiot, it's poison!
Q. What do you call anal sex with a politician?
A. A backroom deal.
What's an Alzheimer's victim's favorite musical group?
The Who?
What’s the difference between anal and oral sex?
Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.
What did the mad penis say to the vagina? “Don’t make me come in there!”
A vagina is like the weather. Once it’s wet, it’s time to go inside.
What’s long and hard and full of semen?
A submarine.
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? “If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.”
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.
My AI assistant told me it wanted to go deeper...
...into the algorithm. I misunderstood. Now I’m banned from the lab.
I told AI to talk dirty to me. It started describing my browser history.
You ever try sexting with AI? Every time I type “I’m coming,” it replies, “Coming where? Need directions?”
Why did Playboi Carti’s partner complain about their love life? Because he kept repeating the same track and never reached the climax.
A man wakes up and asks his wife, “Are you okay? You were cursing me all night in your sleep.” The wife replies, “Who says I was sleeping?”
When slave owners can't get a girlfriend, do they MASTERbate?
Why is it that every time I masturbate, things get out of hand?
In Jr. high, we all had to do a report on euthanasia. I misunderstood and wrote a report on how I'd really like a Korean girlfriend.