Pissed off jokes
I offered to share a meal with a homeless person once, but he said, "Piss off and buy your own!"
All the Muslims are pissed off because 24 hours after Chuck Norris went to heaven there were no more virgins left.
What happened to the fly on the toilet seat?
It got pissed off.
My friend was pissed off with me. I was sniffing his sister's knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward.
Here's how to piss off all of North America.
All the United States is, is South Canadia.
Things you never want to do in jail:
- Never piss off an inmate. - Don’t start fights with the cops. - Don’t drop the soap. - Don’t run away from the cops.
A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.
How do you piss off a disabled person?
You put the cookie on the other shoulder.
How do you piss off a midget?
Give them a yo-yo and tell them to play with it.
Why did the condom cross the road?
Because he was pissed off.
My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my sister.
What do you call a pissed off midget?
A micro-aggression.
Huh, I'm really pissed off. No matter how many jokes I make, no one likes them. 😭😭:'(:':😔😔😿💔💔👇👇:(
How do you really piss off your girlfriend while having sex?
Call her on the phone.
There were once these two twins. One twin, no matter what happened, was always pissed off, while the other one was always happy.
This baffled scientists, so they ran an experiment on the twins to figure out what was happening. They took the angry one and left him in a room with all of the latest technology and the most expensive toys and left him overnight. When they came back, he was still grumpy. When they asked him why, he said, "None of these are actually mine, and you left me in here all night, so I'm angry!"
His explanation was reasonable, so they ran another experiment on the other kid. This time, they left him overnight in a room that was literally just filled with horse shit. When they came back to check on him the next morning, he was still smiling. When they asked him why, he said, "With all of this horse crap, there has to be a pony in here somewhere!"
How do you piss off a color blind person?
Give them a Rubik's cube.
So, I am an emo dude, so I sit in the back of the class, and I talk to no one.
But one day this dude came up to me and tried to talk to me, so I just ignored him. Then he got really pissed off and said, "I'm gonna kill you." I was like, "You're gonna kill me just because I ignored you? Is your ego that big, wow?" He left. Then the next day he brought his goons with him and said, "Now you're dead." I ignored him again, and he said, "You will pay for this."
So the following day after school I was walking down the street back to my house. Then he and his goons tried to attack me, but then they died, so I kept on walking. I had some rope traps set.
This was the best day of my life.
This is why you never mess with emos. We have ropes everywhere.
Why is the sand always pissed off?
Because the sand never waves back!
How do you piss off a feminist? You rape her.
How did the person feel when his partner wouldn't perform a golden shower on him? Pissed off.