Short jokes
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don’t like fast food.
Why can you never surprise mountains?
They peak.
What kind of fruit can fix your sink?
A plum-ber.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two, but now it's a sore subject.
I played the Angry Birds theme while watching a 9/11 documentary.
Dog toys are getting out of control.
My mum's dog has a round bison bone.
Looks like he was chewing on Tracy Latimer's hip or something.
I locked Terri Schiavo in the freezer.
Hey, I thought that's where you were supposed to put vegetables!
Women have eggs and milk in them...
And they say that they don't belong in the kitchen.
What do women and pools have in common?
They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.
What's the difference between a baby and a cooked chicken?
Several hundred calories.
What's the worst possible thing to be playing during the funeral of a bridge-collapse victim?
Fall Guys.
This is how animals were named.
"Bye Son." *cuts call*. What are we talking about?
"Bison. Perfect."
The tortoise can't go out to play, Or sell his house or rent it. For when he moves, his house moves too, And nothing can prevent it.
What is another word for Arab man who is a Palestinian Muslim?
Palestinian masseur.
I'd tell a child abuse joke, but I forget the punchline.
GTA 6
I got sad today.
Trump got a new jet.
He's probably already licked the windows.
Why did Kamala Harris visit the library?
To check out some “law” books and maybe return a few skeletons.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite fruit?
Boisenberry.