Short jokes
What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?
"I woke up Chris Breezy."
I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll up.
What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love?
“The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”
What type of tea does the Social Justice Warrior avoid?
Reality.
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
What’s the difference between a crossdresser and a trans person?
About 3 years.
What’s the difference between a gun and liberals?
Guns only have one trigger.
Being the first to move in chess.
It’s a white privilege.
This place is gonna boom in a few days, just like the towers.
If at first you don't succeed, blame it on the patriarchy.
What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?
They both enjoy digging up the past.
Unfortunately, NASCAR has been canceled.
The woke people heard that it was a human traffic ring.
Welcome to Alex's orphanage, you make 'em, we take 'em.
What's the last thing to go through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Their kneecaps.
What is Jimmy Savile's favorite Roblox game?
"Undress to Impress."
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense.
They have to come out of the closet sometime.
“Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?”
No sun.
Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”