Short jokes
A kindergarten teacher asks her students, "Do you know any words that start with P?"
Little Timmy responds with, "Elmo."
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
What do you call a flooded hospital?
Vegetable soup.
What do you call two Chinese lesbians?
Two can't chew.
How would negotiations between Putin and Zelensky play out?
QUEUE THE MUSIC
BANG BANG INTO THE ROOM I KNOW U WANT IT
No matter how lonely you get, you have Explain Bear.
Explain Bear is always there for you.
What do black parents and elevators have in common?
Neither of them can raise anything without a belt.
Have you heard of the book about the transgender whale?
It’s called "Maybe Dick."
What do you call two guys fighting over a slut?
Tug of whore.
If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
What does a slave owner use to buy slaves? A Master Card.
What do bungee jumping and a gay man have in common?
If the rubber breaks, they're in beep shit.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.
What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can’t hear an enzyme.
Hey, do you know who Dragon248 is? No, who is he? He's dragging these balls off your face.
Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.
I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.
I'm okay with giving babies iPads, as long as the baby has anencephaly.
You can't get brain rot if you don't have a brain!
Why does Batman’s mask only cover half of his face?
So the police can see that he’s white.
What do you call lesbian twins?
Lick-A-Likes.
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One’s a Good Year, the other’s a great year.