Short jokes
If Satan is the devil, he's pretty sus.
What makes laissez-faire and a gangbang the same?
Not my problem.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding only half a worm.
My peepee was big, now it's small.
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging themselves? I guess they lost Hangman.
Did you hear about the midget who was beaten to death playing volleyball at a nudist colony?
Why is the Titanic good at baseball? Because it sinks it.
My friend: You really need to stop the SH jokes.
Me: But they're not that long.
Charger: Yo, Phone.
Phone: Yeah?
Charger: Can I plug all in you?
Phone: Ayooo!
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
Someone in London is stabbed every two minutes. Poor guy.
I got the newest Call of Duty game! I got a 200 kill streak, then I went home and played COD.
What did the Titanic say while sinking?
"It's going down."
Why don't orphans play GTA?
Because they're sad they don't get wanted!
No one is smart. I am smart.
If you jump off a bridge while crying, it's suicide, but if you jump off a bridge while screaming "parkour," it's a failed stunt.
I screamed "Jenga" today in class while watching a 9/11 documentary.
When you're having a normal day at school, but then...
"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"
What type of fish goes best with peanut butter?
Jellyfish!
How do Chinese people get their names? Their parents throw woks down the stairs and name their children after the sound it makes.