I asked my wife if I could use toys during sex last night. You should've seen her face when I rolled my Hot Wheels across her tits.
Short Jokes
When I feel depressed, I like to cut myself another piece of cake.
What story does an orphan always get kicked out of? Home Depot.
The average Irish person consumes 131.1 litres of beer, almost as much as your mum at night.
In America, 1 in 10 houses has a paedophile.
Not me, I live next to a smoking hot 8-year-old.
Want a kiss, daddy? Want a blow job?
Why are we still fighting in darkness?
"Mission failed, soldier, we will get 'em next time."
Roses are red, violets are blue, all these orphan jokes have ruined this site. Fuck you!
Why did my dad leave me and my mum?
I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"
Bruh, Travis Scott went from Astroworld festival to after world festival.
If a walnut is a nut on the wall, then what is a peanut?
If an orphan wants food, who does it? No one. Everybody just watches him starve because they couldn't find his parents.
Alvin and the Chipmunks commit war crimes.
What is the difference between a dwarf and a midget?
Very little.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were.
Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
You guys are crazy!
Why is Dawayne so small? Because his parents cut him up into small slices!
What do you call an epileptic kid eating fruits?
A blender.
Little Red Riding Hood says to the wolf: "What a big dick you have!"
Wolf: "The better to f*** you with!"
Even Steph Curry can't hit threes from behind your hairline.
