Short jokes

What's the similarities between Spiderman and a homeless person?

They both have no way home!

What is one question on a tech test you should always ask before getting down?

What in the Robot!?

What is war used for? (put in comments below)

When you lock the door, but you realize it's a pull open door!

AR-15: Who are you?

Musket: I'm you, but from another timeline.

Why can't orphans stand Darth Vader?

Because he's their father.

"You raise me up to stand on mountains," said the dwarf pornstar on my penis.

Fatty

Your mother is so fat, she broke the stairway to heaven when she died. jaja ur momma dead.

Why did the people get a chicken?

To make eggs.

Why did the cats go in the litterbox?? To take a poop!

I know a good airplane joke, but it would probably go over your heads.

The twin towers: No, it won't.

I wasn't close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.

People always talk about starting families, what happened to finishing the job?

I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.

Why did Dad say no to the pool? Because he can't swim.

Why did the grandpa leave the house to go to the grocery store?

To get the ice cream for the grandma.

I went to self-checkout at a store and I scanned my products, but the scanner wouldn't scan the barcode on my arm.

Patient: Where are you taking me, doctor?

Doctor: The morgue.

Patient: Hang on! I'm not dead yet!

Doctor: And we're not there yet!

If you don't like my suicidal jokes, sorry man, didn't know it cut that deep.