You are getting Cole for Christmas, you shit fuckers.
"Get a life, dum dums!"
Says the fucking moron.
The tortoise was swimming through the lake. His head got stuck in plastic. He said, "Oh dam."
The fish swam in litter and oh, dam!
Why was the Cheetah not allowed to do tests?
Because it always cheated.
How did Jenson lose against a Cheetah?
Because he was a cheetah!
Why is Ollie so boring? He plays board games.
If your parachute doesn't work, don't worry.
You have the rest of your life to figure it out.
Why was the barber mad because I gave him a buzzcut?
Why are orphans always sad?
Because their parents aren't there to cheer them up.
Jack and Jill went up my ass to eat a big dildo, but Jack died cause he got hit by a brown thing.
"Oh, waiter! Waiter!"
"Yes, sir?"
"Do you have frog's legs?"
"Why, yes."
"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"
What did Stephen Hawking say when trying to talk to a reporter? Beep boop beep beep boop.
I was about to joke about your life, but I think your life is already a joke.
"How do celebrities stay cool?"
"They have many fans!"
What borders on stupidity?
Scotland and the EU.
What borders on stupidity?
Canada and Mexico.
Simpsons.
Meet the Simpsons.
They're the greatest modern family.
From the town of Springfield.
They're a page right out of history.
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
Don't free Britney!
