Short jokes

Short jokes

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Noose: "Hey man, wanna hang out?"

Corpse: "Sorry man, I'm dead inside."

Hey so I like orphan jokes, and some of them are fun, but I think that's engonp.

My worst fear is being trapped in a lift with a man who is confident he can fix it.

Being an orphan isn’t all bad.

On the bright side, all your snacks are family sized.

Why wasn't the infant's entire body found?

Because the limbs are scattered around 43°17.7355’N, 113°58.4205’W.

Famous last words of my uncle, (a bomb disposal expert): "yes, the red wire."

Top tip; if your wife asks, "What would you like to do to my body?" 'Identify it' is the wrong answer.

My wife and I watched The Perfect Murder together. Excellent movie, but what disturbed me though was my wife constantly taking notes.

Dad: No, Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.

Why does Spiderman only have 11 months in his calendar?

Because he lost May!

What's the similarities between Spiderman and a homeless person?

They both have no way home!

What is one question on a tech test you should always ask before getting down?

What in the Robot!?

When you lock the door, but you realize it's a pull open door!

AR-15: Who are you?

Musket: I'm you, but from another timeline.

Why can't orphans stand Darth Vader?

Because he's their father.