What's a spider-man’s dream job? Web developer.
What do you call Miles Morales Spider-Man from Europe?
Kilometers Morales.
What do you call a rare fart in Egypt? A toot uncommon!
Where do otters come from? Otter space.
Who comes once a year and makes your kids cry?
Rapey Santa.
The Pope drives around in a glass box, or as I like to call him, a sniper's dream.
Good news, people! Michael Jackson is still alive. They found him hidden away in a goat pen with all the kids!
What's big, black, and touches children?
Harambe.
I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.
Anyone else think High School Musical would have been a better film with a school shooter?
Apparently I'm not allowed home after house fires, but the neighbors, their house burnt lovely.
The hardest part of picking up a hitch hiker is tying them up.
What's the similarity between your mum and West Ham?
Your mum blows spunk bubbles from her ass.
I was fuming when I lost my job as a window cleaner, like who built the Twin Towers anyway?
Withered Bonnie, more like Bonnie Mcnutt!
Funni.
What did Omnicron say to Delta?
"Same race, bud, different evolution."
"SIX FEET AWAY, OMNI! SIX FEET AWAY!"
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
I asked the emo at my school if he got jealous when his phone died.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
