Short jokes
My girlfriend broke up with me today. Her mom had to take her to daycare. 😢😢😢
Scissoring is nice when I grind my wee wee on my wife’s clit.
Humping that little guy is like riding a wet butt plug.
The highest praise my wife gave to me was when she told me, "The best feminine attribute on your body as a woman would be your p🍆nis." 🥰
What do trans women bring to lesbian relationships?
Something big and warm 🍆.
I got breast implants for my wife to squeeze on as she thrusts on my meat while straddled in between my legs.
God made Adam and Eve have sex right out the gate.
Then he made teenagers horny... yet here we are with a so-called "rise in teen pregnancy."
Why did God create sex for marriage?
Because he wanted more people and less fun.
Emo girls be like: How much am I worth...
Girl, scan the code on your wrist!
My newly wed wife is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.
Hi! It's the kid with another dark joke! On this episode: Orphans!
What do you call a gay Megalodon?
Magalogay.
Five Nights at Freddy's: Security Breach
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Abortion is wrong because God wanted the baby to be alive.
Miscarriages are okay because God did not want the baby to be alive.
Your forehead so big your thoughts started on a Monday and didn't end 'til Sunday.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
I did ap.
I did ap who? (I did a poo)
EEWW you did a poo???
Why does Helen Keller hate the national anthem? Oh, say, can you see?
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
"Clap clap clap that ass, bitch, shake that cameltoe, let them see them pussy lips!"
Hi Leyla, I have been trying to reach you for a while. Where have you been? I was wondering if you wanted to chat.