Short jokes
Your forehead so big your thoughts started on a Monday and didn't end 'til Sunday.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
I did ap.
I did ap who? (I did a poo)
EEWW you did a poo???
Why does Helen Keller hate the national anthem? Oh, say, can you see?
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
"Clap clap clap that ass, bitch, shake that cameltoe, let them see them pussy lips!"
Hi Leyla, I have been trying to reach you for a while. Where have you been? I was wondering if you wanted to chat.
What does Michael Jackson and tuna fish have in common?
They both come in small can.
My dad said not to touch this thingy called a gun, but I looked down that pole and pressed that thing, and now I'm in heaven.
Two friends were walking in a forest. They started to fight.
A cannibal came and shouted, "Food fight!"
What does Kim Kardashian and the ocean have in common?
They both have plastic in them.
What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?
A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.
Michael Jackson is happy when there are twenty-eight-year-olds.
Michael Jackson's nose is so steep, it can be a ski ramp.
You're so ugly your mirror shattered.
What company do orphans hate the most?
S. C. Johnson, a family company.
My friend's emo. I told her to play jump rope with me. She hanged herself. Lol.
What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.
I wish we could implant all parts because I could have used some car parts from Stephen Hawking after he died.
What is a king's favorite sized candy? King-sized candy!
Why is the sun so mean? Because it keeps ROASTING everyone!