Short jokes
Spell "I C U P." I see you pee.
The thing my mom birthed.
My gf told me I have to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I fucked a chimpanzee behind my local zoo.
Do emos get jealous when their phone dies?
If the noose breaks, stab yourself!
If the knife is dull, shoot yourself!
If the gun's out of ammo, *YOU'RE HERE TO SUFFER ETERNALLY.*
The best part about being a medical student is, you will never run out of jokes.
Russia went from N-95 to M-16 real quick...
The last thing I said to my dog was,
"Play dead."
If I was God, my parents would be anesthetists.
Yo mama so fat that when I banged her in the jacuzzi, there was a level 8 tsunami.
Why was the orphan so bad at basketball? He had no encouragement.
Period blood is like KFC, because it's finger-licking good!
Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice?
Because it said "concentration camp."
What did God say when he created the first black person?
"Behold, this specimen of divine integrity!"
How do you stop a school shooter from killing you?
Tell him you don’t believe in dog.
What did the old chimney say to the young chimney?
"You're too young to smoke!"
That's not even a bad joke-
How do lions 🦁 like their steak?
"Roar!"
What do robots 🤖 shave with?
Laser blades!
Why do orphans not like laptops?...
They don't have a homepage.