Short jokes
Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.
He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.
What do you call depressed coffee?
Despresso ;)
What's the most emo name?
Carter.
What do you call an animal flouting?
Super bird!
Anonymous 1: Why are you crying?
Anonymous 2: No, buddy, come to my finral.
I didn't steal it. 🌚
Why crack your fingers when you can finger your crack?
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
If you think long and hard, oral sex is like cannibals.
Do you like CDs?
There's this really cool one called "C Deez Nuts."
Yo momma is so stupid, she eats cardboard boxes thinking they're chocolate bars.
Yo momma is so ugly, she gets rejected by dead people.
Yo momma so fat, she farts out volcanoes.
I told my husband he should embrace his mistakes.
He hugged me!
I meant because.
Why don't pirates take a bath before walking the plank?
'Cause they just wash up onshore.
What kind of tree can you High-Five?
A palm tree.
What is big and bouncy and walks on stilts?
Person 1: Somebody farted.
Person 2: No, all I can smell is your breath.
A priest walks into a bar, immediately orders the kids' menu.
Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?
To get to the dark side.