When babies kick their mother, it's okay, but when I do it, it's a crime...
What's an emo's favorite game? Fruit Ninja.
How to get your joke on every category? Michael Jackson, towers, morbid, emo, school, short, penis, sects, little Jonny.
"Nancy be like I sucked my way to the top."
Nancy be like, "Don't do drugs, do cock!"
Nancy, the throat goat!
Rope: Hey buddy! Want to hang?
Me: Maybe I can hang later...
Cock: Can I have attention from your Dad now?
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a Twinkie?
Nothing. They both squirt their white stuff when you eat it.
What’s the difference between an LGBTQ and brain cells?
Brain cells make up their mind.
I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.
They never got together at all.
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cell phone.
Girlfriend's ex: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die.
Name what guns are used for. {wrong answers only?}
Nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users.
What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.
When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!
Why is there no woman on the moon?
Because it doesn't need to be cleaned.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Glock 46.
Someone asked me what the lines on my wrist were from. I answered, "My cat has OCD."
Why can't a blind person eat fish?
They can't see food.
Q. What does Kenny get when he hugs his mom?
A. A boner.
