Short jokes
What does a hear-moo say? "Fat cow!"
Why do emo kids sneak up on their Vietnamese grandfathers? Because they hope the war experience kicks in.
Imagine being expelled from school for bringing a weapon to school.
A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."
He was in the infantry.
What did Stephen Hawking have for breakfast? His left shoulder.
Why are orphans whores?
Because they want a sugar daddy. 🙃
If a girl says no twice 🤔.
Mathematically that’s a yes, so you’re good to go!
You ever had sex with a woman that is so fat, it counted as a threesome?
If you think the guy calling you fat is offensive,
Try salad 🥗.
What’s 8 inches and women scream when they see it?
A puppy, you dirty monkey!
I can do a very good Michael Jackson impersonation. I just need a kid who can keep a secret.
I fucked your mom, oh wait, you don't have one.
Why does the cannibal village not exist anymore?
They all ate each other.
The Stigg and his fake ass life.
How many skinheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
10; 1 to do it and 9 to back him up.
Don't believe what your school bully tells you.
Always take it with a grain of assault.
Bully: Hey virgin!
Victim: I'm not a virgin, just ask your sister.
Bully: I don't have a sister, dumbass.
Victim: Just wait nine months.
I went to a butcher house with my little cousin and saw a baby pig and told her, "Look, it's Pepa Pig!"
She started crying.
What do you call a fake speedrunner?
Dream.
What do you call a Barbie doll that’s wearing scrubs?
A plastic surgeon. 😷