Short jokes
Emos are so predictable: sleep, eat, cut, repeat.
An orphan is at a barbecue and is getting food. A man asks him if he wants steak or phan I ment ham.
Breaking news (2020): Depressed pigeon misses shitting on people.
You will never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.
Say what you want about Hitler, at least he got the trains to run on time.
When people make accounts about you and a category.
Your forehead so big, I think that's what Kobe crashed into.
What's cold, blue and makes women cry?
Cot death.
9/11 called for help. What did that get? Nothing.
Omnom.
When a stranger keeps telling kids to kill themselves AKA the Stigg.
The Stiggs life is a joke. Wait, I forgot, he doesn't have a life.
Did you know the past tense of William Shakespeare is Wouldiwas Shookspeared?
Why did your dad FUCKING LEAVE YOU? He went to suck balls.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
Why do violists smile when they play? Because ignorance is bliss, and they don't know what can't hurt them.
Why don’t violists play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?”
Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.
What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?
The viola burns longer.
Some say under his helmet is another smaller helmet, and under that is another helmet, and under that is a poster of Miley Cyrus.