Short jokes
The last thing I said to my dog was,
"Play dead."
If I was God, my parents would be anesthetists.
Yo mama so fat that when I banged her in the jacuzzi, there was a level 8 tsunami.
Why was the orphan so bad at basketball? He had no encouragement.
Period blood is like KFC, because it's finger-licking good!
Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice?
Because it said "concentration camp."
What did God say when he created the first black person?
"Behold, this specimen of divine integrity!"
How do you stop a school shooter from killing you?
Tell him you don’t believe in dog.
What did the old chimney say to the young chimney?
"You're too young to smoke!"
That's not even a bad joke-
How do lions 🦁 like their steak?
"Roar!"
What do robots 🤖 shave with?
Laser blades!
Why do orphans not like laptops?...
They don't have a homepage.
Did you hear about the exciting new drug they developed for lesbians with depression? They call it: TRICOXAGIN.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Snow caps!
Russia.
You know why morning food digests so quickly.
Because it breaks fast.
Ukraine.
When Bob got on that sled, I don't know how he went so smoothly, but that is the invention of bobsled peoples.
And then Mark came in.
Imagine getting rickrolled. Oh, I forgot, you already got rickrolled yesterday.
Q: What is a clown’s favorite fish?
A: The clownfish.