Short jokes
The 2nd worst thing that happened to an orphan was finding out the milk man passed.
What kind of udder likes McDonald's?
Udderly unhealthy.
I ordered my sandwich at a restaurant on 9/11 spicy, it came out plain.
I usually don't make 9/11 jokes, but they just are fire.
Q: What is found deep inside of us, and the more we express our love for each other the more it spreads throughout the world?
A: Covid.
What do u call a pretty Indian girl?
Bomb bae.
What do cannibals call a person that is running?
Fast food.
A man is digging in his garden and finds a gold chest. He goes to tell his wife.
Then he remembers why he was digging in the garden...
What do you call a lion as a baby?
Cocota
The weirdest thing happened to me today. I was driving 50 mph and hit a speed bump and it screamed!
What happens to emo kids when they go up?
They never come down.
I heard guns kill people, so I gave up my right to own one.
Then I heard dicks rape people, so I chopped it off.
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry.
The doctor told me my temperature was exactly 98.6 degrees. I felt relieved until he said, “Celsius.”
What did all the humans say when all the pets left town?
A doggone catastrophe!
If you enter the bathroom as an American and leave the bathroom as an American, what are you in the bathroom?
A European.
Where did Kobe go after the helicopter crashed? Everywhere.
Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not Susie.
Is your dad a magician?
Because he magically disappeared.
Why is the Pentagon mad?
Because it didn't get two pizzas, but only one plane pizza.