Short jokes
You are so fat, you are fatter than the fattest.
You are so blind, even a spider can see better than you.
Your head is so small, even a fly could eat it.
Your face needs to be put in the trash so people don't need to suffer.
When I got to school, they gave me an Acer laptop, so I went up to the teacher and aced her.
Yoav
Best way to do it.
My brother when he sees a girl.
Why can't orphans have an iPhone?
'Cause they can't find the home button.
Q: Why is it good being an orphan?
A: Because the family sized bag is all there's.
Q: What did the cannibal shout when his friend fell on the floor?
A: "FIVE SECOND RULE!"
Wanna know something funny?
Me, because I'm funny looking.
The Nazis.
What do you call a Muslim in America being pursued by a perv?
Alien vs. Predator.
Jamal had 75 candy bars. He ate 65. What does he have now?
Diabetes.
Hey, did you know that 9/11 won a Grammy?
Yes, best comedy award.
What did they find on Chris Rock's face? Fresh prints.
Your hairline is so long that sometimes even the president doesn't know where it ends.
Your hairline goes so far back that cars on a highway don't know which way to turn.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would the title be?
Mine would be "Alien Vs. Predator."