Short jokes
My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."
An orphan asked if they could move into my house yesterday. I said, "Don't you have a family?"
You are so fat, you are fatter than the fattest.
You are so blind, even a spider can see better than you.
Your head is so small, even a fly could eat it.
Your face needs to be put in the trash so people don't need to suffer.
When I got to school, they gave me an Acer laptop, so I went up to the teacher and aced her.
Yoav
Best way to do it.
My brother when he sees a girl.
Why can't orphans have an iPhone?
'Cause they can't find the home button.
Q: Why is it good being an orphan?
A: Because the family sized bag is all there's.
Q: What did the cannibal shout when his friend fell on the floor?
A: "FIVE SECOND RULE!"
Wanna know something funny?
Me, because I'm funny looking.
The Nazis.
What do you call a Muslim in America being pursued by a perv?
Alien vs. Predator.
Jamal had 75 candy bars. He ate 65. What does he have now?
Diabetes.
Hey, did you know that 9/11 won a Grammy?
Yes, best comedy award.
What did they find on Chris Rock's face? Fresh prints.
Your hairline is so long that sometimes even the president doesn't know where it ends.